Remebering Its Not About You

   The dream I have spent the past nine years working towards, this crazy adventure of pageantry, is now over. Now that I have had a solid three weeks to sleep, eat, think, play with my puppy, pray, work, nap, eat more, get intense sunburn lines and not care, unpack more than I admit to have packed, sleep even more, cry, laugh, air-dry my hair every day, not put on any makeup, do awesome outdoorsy things, read for pleasure, run because I wanted to, and sit down for hours doing nothing, all while trying to get back to this thing called reality in the real world, I have had a lot of time to reflect on what an incredibly beautiful journey God has taken me on. It truly has been that: an incredible, stunning, beautiful, wild journey. I will always and forever believe that things happen for a reason (Romans 8:28) and Miss Georgia is no exception. Everyone's journey is different, every story is unique. Here is mine...

Some of my favorite ladies. The friendships I have gained in this organization are irreplaceable. 

This was your last year before aging out of Miss America... how did you feel after it was over?

Phi Mu sisters & MAO sisters! 

   After not hearing my name called out for top ten on finals night I was heart broken. I have given my all since I was sixteen years old to a dream of being Miss America... and that door was shut. It was hard, y'all, really hard, to accept that. I wanted to be a role model of confidence and integrity to teen girls; I wanted to help girls build their self esteem and know what they are worth; I wanted to help define what it means to be a real, beautiful woman. I was being silly thinking that being Miss Georgia was the only way to make that happen. While the top ten were doing their thing, I sat down backstage, enjoying some of the cookies friends/family brought me (thanks guys!) and selfishly questioned God. "Why didn't I get to that group?!" "You couldn't let me, on my last year, make top ten at least?!" "Now I can't be a role model!" "What did I do wrong??" - then I had a reality check; it wasn't about me, it never was. Ha, oh yeah! That took a moment. After I collected my thoughts and let out some tears (it was such a stressful week... it makes you cry just because you spilled a tiny bit of coffee), I became extremely relieved. Its a bit weird, being absolutely devastated while also being ecstatic and peaceful. Ecstatic for what lied ahead, peaceful for where I was. Without a doubt, I wanted this job, this title, more than anything. But in my preparation leading up to Miss Georgia I really felt God placing on my heart to be at peace with not hearing my name called. I forgot about that and His promise to me for a little bit there:

Isaiah 26: 3 - You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You.

The above verse leaped and ran to me on a daily basis in the weeks leading up to the big competition. After hard days trying to balance life while getting ready for a huge competition, I would see this verse and be reminded to keep my focus on Him. And it was that verse that helped me stay confident and strong throughout Miss Georgia week.

But you didn't win!
   But I did :) I really did believe I could be the next Miss Georgia. I finally realized that I was worth the best, His best, and if that was His plan for me than I could do it and do it well because of Him. However, if that wasn't His plan then I was going to be content with that too. Having a feeling in my heart that I wasn't going to be the next Miss Georgia, I was reminded to take time to realize what else I wanted out of the week coming up. If I didn't walk away with the sparkly crown or banner yelling my new job title, what would I walk away with?

    

#1 // Confidence. I wanted to walk away knowing I was 100% myself; day or night, when the spotlight was on me or when I was sitting on a bus with the other thirty-nine other amazing women, on facebook or in real life. I wanted people to know and see the real me, the genuine me. I went to Miss Georgia with my best; with the best representation of 'Shelby' that I could be. After every phase of competition - interview, swimsuit, talent, evening gown, onstage question - I knew I gave my best. I would leave the end of the week without a doubt that I should have changed anything... I was confidently myself.

#2 // Humility. There is so much stereotyping in the world. Even more so with pageant girls. I am Miss Atlanta; too long has this been a "coveted" and "prestigious" title. Yes, it is pretty rockin' getting to say you're the state's capital. This does not make me better than you. I got here... you can too. I wanted the other girls I competed with at Miss Georgia (mostly those who were new) to realize just because I have a title that sounds cooler or that this was my third trip to state it does not make me better than you. That goes for those not competing as well; just because I have a crown on my head does not make me any better than you. I am indeed in a unique league or extraordinary women who are investing their lives to bettering themselves and their community, but you are a unique, incredible, treasured individual. Don't forget it. Humility goes a long way.

#3 // Faith. How would I grow in my faith, whether in Christ or in life, through this week? I was here for a reason and that big reason was to bring Christ glory. Thank you, Heather Burgess, for reminding me of this during the week. And thank you, Lord, for reminding me of this yet again after the top ten were called. I could name countless reasons why I did not make it to top ten... but my favorite theory was so I could join my three other dressing room girls help Taylor Voyles (Love you!) get ready to sing her heart out for talent and then start screaming and crying (again with the tears...) when she made it top five. Honestly though, I don't know the real reason God had me where He did that week or that night. Whatever it was, I am tremendously thankful. As long as He was glorified that entire week my job was completed.

#4 // Strength. What type of strength would I gain? This year alone was one that pushed me like I have never felt pushed. It was a hard year that I struggled with so much and I had to fall on my face multiple times. Looking back, those moments were the ones that God provided me strength like I never knew. Strength that I had in me that seemed to burst forth....
   I love playing the piano. I love my talent. I wanted to play my talent piece with such fire and passion like I have never played before. And I wanted God to be glorified and worshiped through my playing. After I walked off stage from playing during my talent night I cried... because I felt so strong about it and about the fact that I played my heart out to an audience of One; for God. It gave me chills because I realized how much me playing that piece was parallel to me finding strength in myself. Receiving non-finalist talent was not a pat on the back for me but a thunderous clap to God for providing an illustration of the strength I finally saw in myself and the strength He provided me with.

So blessed to call each of these girls my sister queens, or as we call our selves, the Fantana Atalantas. We were seriously the most perfect group for each other. I love yall!!

Any regrets?
   Pageants are no joke. If you're reading this blog I hope you have picked up on that. They are stressful and they stretch you more than you ever want to be. They make you say things or do things that you thought never in a million years you would. They make you learn how to balance (or at least try to balance): school, multiple jobs, relationships, family life, social life, paying bills, paying for all that coaching, political knowledge, staying fit (which means working out at 5 am or 11pm, whichever your schedule allows), eating healthy (healthy food on a tight budget + finding time to prep your food which is eaten on the go = ah), looking great with only 30 minutes to be ready, everything else you can imagine (like doing laundry or cleaning your house), and being normal. It's tough. But no regrets. None. The rewards are unquestionably immeasurable. The Miss America Organization has helped me find out what it means to be Shelby and what I can do, as Shelby, to change lives. I mentioned above how I "couldn't be a role model anymore" because I didn't become Miss Georgia. That was the emotions speaking from that night. I am more of a role model now than ever before because I didn't become Miss Georgia. Our platforms are meant to change the world, with or without a title. Its the what we do with them without the spotlight on us that means the most. 

I am far from perfect, but that is why its so amazing to me why God called me to be Miss Atlanta this year and to take one last trip to Miss Georgia. A year ago I didn't even think I would be back in pageant land. I would have had regrets if I didn't go back once more.

Couldn't have asked God for more amazing, supportive, selfless directors or board. You guys are the absolute best - the new Miss Atlanta is going to be so spoiled!

So, what is next since you are aging out of the Miss America system? 
   The past weeks since that crazy one have allowed me to relax and seriously think about where God is taking me next. A weight has literally been lifted off my shoulders. I have been planning all kinds of awesome things and I can't wait to see where God takes me next. I am loving my new job at J. Crew (woot! woot!) and my new obsession for iced coffee (I am a former coffee hater). A big change is that I am no longer pursuing nursing. Doors have opened up for me to run towards physical therapy/kinesiology. If you know me then you probably know why I am making the change. Its not about "I could see you doing this/you would be good at it" but rather "your heart is in that... I can see it." I am also excited more than every to be working with teen girls and Girl Talk. I am thrilled that I get to focus more on building confidence and strength in women and girls instead of thwarting my energy and focus elsewhere (i.e. interview prep, studying the news, walking lessons, ect). God has called me into a ministry to females. I have no doubt in my mind of this. Now I get to fully pursue that :) One more thing, I get to settle down and enjoy where I am. Since I have moved to Atlanta, I have been so busy that I have forgotten to see my city and take in all it has to offer. I am challenging myself to visit new spots and find the ones I love; to take my puppy on new trails and to find cool hipster coffee shops; to take multiple trips down the river and to start rowing or playing tennis; and to develop new friendships and work on the ones I already have.

My WONDERFUL roomies

   Thank you to those of y'all that have been on this journey, encouraging me and providing prayer and steady hands. Its been an interesting one, but you've made it so worth it. I had the most supportive board, family, boyfriend, best friends, and friends while I was at the big competition. Y'all rock. I managed to accumulate five dozen cookies... thanks, you guys. They lasted me all of two days, maybe three. The amount of love and thoughtfulness I was showered that week and since then has been enough to make me cry more than I should tell. I could never thank you enough.

Remember wherever God takes you, it isn't about you.

Find out who and what it's really about.

Always in Christ and with much love,

   Shelby 

Keeping it Real.

Lauren Fleshman. A running role model for me... and now a role model of strength. Its amazing that even those we deem "most fit" or "most beautiful" struggle with self image. Negative self image effects women of all ages, shapes, lifestyles, and popularity. It's such a real thing. I encourage you to take Lauren's words. Also, take her challenge to post 2 pictures side-by-side: one that you love, at your best, and one when you feel not-at-your-best. #keepingitreal

Click here for the link to her original post that is posted below. And here for her post that started the fire.

You don't have a thigh gap?! .... {Gasp}

Hello, my name is Shelby and I do not have, what females are calling in this modern age, the glorious "thigh gap." And I am finally comfortable with saying it and actually meaning it.

A year ago, I secretly wanted it. I saw it on women I was pinning on Pinterest and thought to myself, "if only!" I see girls in the pageant system winning swimsuit preliminary awards and thinking to myself that I will never be able to achieve that because I don't have the best legs. I know now, such silly thinking. I've always struggled with thinking my lower curves are what I needed to lose {hellooo, where my body fat jumps to}. Ha, right. Again, quite silly. Such thinking comes from the pageant territory {I have such a love/hate relationship with the swimsuit competition}. It comes with being a perfectionist. It comes with a desire to join the modeling world {think J.Crew retail model, not runway model}. It comes with being a woman in the 21st century. Heck, it even comes with being a female, period. But mostly, it comes from allowing thoughts of not being "good-enough" to creep their way into my head. 

Its one thing if your natural body shape is more straight, less curvy, or you were born with petite limbs. It's another if you make it your goal {as I have done in the past} to center your whole exercise routine and dieting plan around how to get smaller legs. I use to let finding the perfect pair of jeans be measured by if they gave me slimmer looking curves and the thigh gap. I use to measure my body {sexiness} status by if I has smaller legs or not. And none of that is okay.

Most every 20- to 30-something girl I know have said something about this to or are dealing with it. It's all over my social media dash - Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook. Its a major issue that needs some serious addressing. What is an even bigger issue is the fact that middle school girls are now seeing and wanting the infamous thigh gap. That hit me hard recently. I don't want my little sisters {who are 13 and 15} thinking they have to have it. I am a role model. A role model who is wanting to promote self-esteem and confidence in yourself. Not just to my little sisters, but to every five year old princess, middle school lady, college girl, or business woman I come in contact. How can I encourage them to have confidence in their bodies if I am not doing the same? You too are a role model. Think of at least one person you have made a difference on. Got them in your head? Bet there are at least 100x more than you know about. But even so, that one person makes you a role model. And if you are a role model, what you do makes all the difference in the world.

Do you know who one of my favorite female figures is? Jennifer Lawrence. Do you know why? Because she loves, absolutely loves, her body and is so confident about the way she looks. She radiates confidence. She is my role model. {And come on, she is also Katniess Everdeen. Who couldn't want to be JL}

Also, on a side note... the only way to achieve a healthy body is to eat healthy, be active, and to mentally exercise. Don't let anyone lie to you letting you know diet pills are the way to go. Don't lie to yourself with cheat, quick methods to getting fit or reaching your fitness goals. Don't think skipping meals will benefit you by shrinking your waist - tried that one and trust me, it doesn't work because you body needs that fuel. Cheating never helps anyone, especially not in the long run. Even more so, because you and I are role models, what people see us do and hear us say is hugely influential on how they decide to do things. Trust me on that one too. Have fitness goals, but do not let them swallow you up or control you. It's hard not to at times, but try. Remember, you are a role model. People are watching you... what you say, how you act, what you watch, ect. How do you want to leave an impact on someone, even if its for the thirty seconds you come in contact with them?

I want to be strong. 

I want to be physically strong, but also mentally strong. No more of this talking myself down or comparing myself to others. I too want to radiate such strong confidence in myself. 

I want to have a strength in myself like no other.

After all, strong is the new sexy.

So, let me ask you... how can you be stronger?
What are your current fitness goals?
What are you doing to achieve them?
Who are your role models?
Why are they your role models?
How are you a role model for someone?

Take time to answer these for me! I love hearing how you have been inspired and how you are seeking to inspire others. Just post in the comment section below. And follow my pinterest board [BE: inspired] for more positive encouragement. 

I am good enough. You are good enough. Believe it. Claim it.