Stop.

I was about to post a status complaining about the stupidity of the people in this world (as I had just driven through typical ATL traffic and gotten angry at several rude or ridiculously-slow drivers). Then I realized a few things; #1 a simple status read by only a miniscule fraction of the world's population wouldn't help anything, #2 who actually cares about my venting via social media (no-bo-dy), #3 I would be hypocritical if I didn't include myself in original said-people, beacuse I too have my not-thinking moments, and, finally, #4 I have way too much to be thankful for than to sit and have a mini selfish, pathetic moment.

Two of my focuses for this next year are to be more thankful and to slow down. Far too often I rush into immediate frustration or impatience, leaving behind a moment that God could have used for something good. Who am I to accuse someone of idiocy when I have NO idea their story or reason for being in my life at that precise moment? I am a sinner, deserving of hell but saved by grace, and loved unconditionally by a God who cares.

So, as I sit in a Publix parking lot, embarrassed by my lack of self-control and allowing sin to have a small victory, I am thankful. I am thankful to have a car (that is a true gift from Jesus), a job that allows me the freedom to finish school, God's goodness and grace in every part of my life, my health, that I live in a city that I love, and for the small moments that remind me this world is not my home.

~

Let your kindness be so evident that the blind see it and the deaf hear it:

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." - Mark Twain

Remebering Its Not About You

   The dream I have spent the past nine years working towards, this crazy adventure of pageantry, is now over. Now that I have had a solid three weeks to sleep, eat, think, play with my puppy, pray, work, nap, eat more, get intense sunburn lines and not care, unpack more than I admit to have packed, sleep even more, cry, laugh, air-dry my hair every day, not put on any makeup, do awesome outdoorsy things, read for pleasure, run because I wanted to, and sit down for hours doing nothing, all while trying to get back to this thing called reality in the real world, I have had a lot of time to reflect on what an incredibly beautiful journey God has taken me on. It truly has been that: an incredible, stunning, beautiful, wild journey. I will always and forever believe that things happen for a reason (Romans 8:28) and Miss Georgia is no exception. Everyone's journey is different, every story is unique. Here is mine...

Some of my favorite ladies. The friendships I have gained in this organization are irreplaceable. 

This was your last year before aging out of Miss America... how did you feel after it was over?

Phi Mu sisters & MAO sisters! 

   After not hearing my name called out for top ten on finals night I was heart broken. I have given my all since I was sixteen years old to a dream of being Miss America... and that door was shut. It was hard, y'all, really hard, to accept that. I wanted to be a role model of confidence and integrity to teen girls; I wanted to help girls build their self esteem and know what they are worth; I wanted to help define what it means to be a real, beautiful woman. I was being silly thinking that being Miss Georgia was the only way to make that happen. While the top ten were doing their thing, I sat down backstage, enjoying some of the cookies friends/family brought me (thanks guys!) and selfishly questioned God. "Why didn't I get to that group?!" "You couldn't let me, on my last year, make top ten at least?!" "Now I can't be a role model!" "What did I do wrong??" - then I had a reality check; it wasn't about me, it never was. Ha, oh yeah! That took a moment. After I collected my thoughts and let out some tears (it was such a stressful week... it makes you cry just because you spilled a tiny bit of coffee), I became extremely relieved. Its a bit weird, being absolutely devastated while also being ecstatic and peaceful. Ecstatic for what lied ahead, peaceful for where I was. Without a doubt, I wanted this job, this title, more than anything. But in my preparation leading up to Miss Georgia I really felt God placing on my heart to be at peace with not hearing my name called. I forgot about that and His promise to me for a little bit there:

Isaiah 26: 3 - You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You.

The above verse leaped and ran to me on a daily basis in the weeks leading up to the big competition. After hard days trying to balance life while getting ready for a huge competition, I would see this verse and be reminded to keep my focus on Him. And it was that verse that helped me stay confident and strong throughout Miss Georgia week.

But you didn't win!
   But I did :) I really did believe I could be the next Miss Georgia. I finally realized that I was worth the best, His best, and if that was His plan for me than I could do it and do it well because of Him. However, if that wasn't His plan then I was going to be content with that too. Having a feeling in my heart that I wasn't going to be the next Miss Georgia, I was reminded to take time to realize what else I wanted out of the week coming up. If I didn't walk away with the sparkly crown or banner yelling my new job title, what would I walk away with?

    

#1 // Confidence. I wanted to walk away knowing I was 100% myself; day or night, when the spotlight was on me or when I was sitting on a bus with the other thirty-nine other amazing women, on facebook or in real life. I wanted people to know and see the real me, the genuine me. I went to Miss Georgia with my best; with the best representation of 'Shelby' that I could be. After every phase of competition - interview, swimsuit, talent, evening gown, onstage question - I knew I gave my best. I would leave the end of the week without a doubt that I should have changed anything... I was confidently myself.

#2 // Humility. There is so much stereotyping in the world. Even more so with pageant girls. I am Miss Atlanta; too long has this been a "coveted" and "prestigious" title. Yes, it is pretty rockin' getting to say you're the state's capital. This does not make me better than you. I got here... you can too. I wanted the other girls I competed with at Miss Georgia (mostly those who were new) to realize just because I have a title that sounds cooler or that this was my third trip to state it does not make me better than you. That goes for those not competing as well; just because I have a crown on my head does not make me any better than you. I am indeed in a unique league or extraordinary women who are investing their lives to bettering themselves and their community, but you are a unique, incredible, treasured individual. Don't forget it. Humility goes a long way.

#3 // Faith. How would I grow in my faith, whether in Christ or in life, through this week? I was here for a reason and that big reason was to bring Christ glory. Thank you, Heather Burgess, for reminding me of this during the week. And thank you, Lord, for reminding me of this yet again after the top ten were called. I could name countless reasons why I did not make it to top ten... but my favorite theory was so I could join my three other dressing room girls help Taylor Voyles (Love you!) get ready to sing her heart out for talent and then start screaming and crying (again with the tears...) when she made it top five. Honestly though, I don't know the real reason God had me where He did that week or that night. Whatever it was, I am tremendously thankful. As long as He was glorified that entire week my job was completed.

#4 // Strength. What type of strength would I gain? This year alone was one that pushed me like I have never felt pushed. It was a hard year that I struggled with so much and I had to fall on my face multiple times. Looking back, those moments were the ones that God provided me strength like I never knew. Strength that I had in me that seemed to burst forth....
   I love playing the piano. I love my talent. I wanted to play my talent piece with such fire and passion like I have never played before. And I wanted God to be glorified and worshiped through my playing. After I walked off stage from playing during my talent night I cried... because I felt so strong about it and about the fact that I played my heart out to an audience of One; for God. It gave me chills because I realized how much me playing that piece was parallel to me finding strength in myself. Receiving non-finalist talent was not a pat on the back for me but a thunderous clap to God for providing an illustration of the strength I finally saw in myself and the strength He provided me with.

So blessed to call each of these girls my sister queens, or as we call our selves, the Fantana Atalantas. We were seriously the most perfect group for each other. I love yall!!

Any regrets?
   Pageants are no joke. If you're reading this blog I hope you have picked up on that. They are stressful and they stretch you more than you ever want to be. They make you say things or do things that you thought never in a million years you would. They make you learn how to balance (or at least try to balance): school, multiple jobs, relationships, family life, social life, paying bills, paying for all that coaching, political knowledge, staying fit (which means working out at 5 am or 11pm, whichever your schedule allows), eating healthy (healthy food on a tight budget + finding time to prep your food which is eaten on the go = ah), looking great with only 30 minutes to be ready, everything else you can imagine (like doing laundry or cleaning your house), and being normal. It's tough. But no regrets. None. The rewards are unquestionably immeasurable. The Miss America Organization has helped me find out what it means to be Shelby and what I can do, as Shelby, to change lives. I mentioned above how I "couldn't be a role model anymore" because I didn't become Miss Georgia. That was the emotions speaking from that night. I am more of a role model now than ever before because I didn't become Miss Georgia. Our platforms are meant to change the world, with or without a title. Its the what we do with them without the spotlight on us that means the most. 

I am far from perfect, but that is why its so amazing to me why God called me to be Miss Atlanta this year and to take one last trip to Miss Georgia. A year ago I didn't even think I would be back in pageant land. I would have had regrets if I didn't go back once more.

Couldn't have asked God for more amazing, supportive, selfless directors or board. You guys are the absolute best - the new Miss Atlanta is going to be so spoiled!

So, what is next since you are aging out of the Miss America system? 
   The past weeks since that crazy one have allowed me to relax and seriously think about where God is taking me next. A weight has literally been lifted off my shoulders. I have been planning all kinds of awesome things and I can't wait to see where God takes me next. I am loving my new job at J. Crew (woot! woot!) and my new obsession for iced coffee (I am a former coffee hater). A big change is that I am no longer pursuing nursing. Doors have opened up for me to run towards physical therapy/kinesiology. If you know me then you probably know why I am making the change. Its not about "I could see you doing this/you would be good at it" but rather "your heart is in that... I can see it." I am also excited more than every to be working with teen girls and Girl Talk. I am thrilled that I get to focus more on building confidence and strength in women and girls instead of thwarting my energy and focus elsewhere (i.e. interview prep, studying the news, walking lessons, ect). God has called me into a ministry to females. I have no doubt in my mind of this. Now I get to fully pursue that :) One more thing, I get to settle down and enjoy where I am. Since I have moved to Atlanta, I have been so busy that I have forgotten to see my city and take in all it has to offer. I am challenging myself to visit new spots and find the ones I love; to take my puppy on new trails and to find cool hipster coffee shops; to take multiple trips down the river and to start rowing or playing tennis; and to develop new friendships and work on the ones I already have.

My WONDERFUL roomies

   Thank you to those of y'all that have been on this journey, encouraging me and providing prayer and steady hands. Its been an interesting one, but you've made it so worth it. I had the most supportive board, family, boyfriend, best friends, and friends while I was at the big competition. Y'all rock. I managed to accumulate five dozen cookies... thanks, you guys. They lasted me all of two days, maybe three. The amount of love and thoughtfulness I was showered that week and since then has been enough to make me cry more than I should tell. I could never thank you enough.

Remember wherever God takes you, it isn't about you.

Find out who and what it's really about.

Always in Christ and with much love,

   Shelby 

You ARE worth it.

You can do this. You've got this. You are worth it. I believe in YOU. Believe in YOURSELF.

These were all comforting words I felt God told me over the past weekend. And for once, I believe them and I believe in myself. For once in my life, there isn't a doubt in my mind that I can achieve the dreams and goals God has placed in my heart. You see, I struggle with knowing who Shelby is. I've struggled with believing I am worth the best and that I will ever be good enough to achieve my goals. Because I see all my faults, my imperfections, my dirty little secrets, my "cellulite", I don't think I am ever worth the best. But praise God, I had a huge turn around this past weekend as it finally hit me (hard... and left a mark :P) that I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I want to share a personal story with you guys that has been on my heart to open up about for some time:

Rewind to a eight years ago. The first clear moment I can remember where my self confidence had hit an all time low. I read an article written by a celebrity that claimed she went through an eating disorder and how she "overcame" her issue. Problem with the article was that it seemed to glorify eating disorders, almost making it look cool, and how not eating to feel better about your body was not as bad as it seemed. I, in the weaken state I was in at that time, thought to myself maybe I should try this not eating thing too. I completely ignored the fact that I felt in my heart that was not the right thing to do. But, I was just beginning to like fashion and having the attentions of others calling me "beautiful" because of my looks (so I thought, wrongly again) that I thought it would be a good idea to try this. I figured I would look better in my clothes. I figured since this celebrity made it look "cool" then it had to be. Eating disorders are not cool in any way, shape, or form. Do you hear me? They are not cool. And they are extremely negative on the way female view themselves.

There were a few months after I read that article where I limited how much food I ate. I certainly did not loose an excessive amount of weight or start to look bony, but my inner self was caving in. Because I did not see any "improvement" in the way my body looked from limiting eating, I realized that I actually did need to eat so I went back to eating. However, as time continued on, I began to be genuinely scared of food. I avoided so many things because I didn't want them to have a negative effect on how I looked. It wasn't me trying to be healthy because being healthy is a wonderful thing; it was me cutting out things I felt would make me "skinny." Just for the record, I cannot stand the word 'skinny'. It was also during this time where I felt like people really didn't care about me or what I thought, so I began keeping thoughts inside. I began pretending to be someone I really wasn't. I was not comfortable in my own skin at all.

Skip ahead a couple of years, I started competing in pageants... these pageants included the swimsuit portion. If you do not know me personally, you should probably know at least this one thing about me: I have a love/hate relationship with the swimsuit portion of Miss America. It can certainly be very beneficial to many girls, and I am not dissing this part of pageants, but personally, for my life, it has been more on the negative side. I feel there is a huge part of this part of pageants where you are being looked at, up and down, and critiqued in every way possible. As a woman who has struggled with many negative thoughts about her and her body, this is not a good thing. As a woman who has sought after perfection, this is not a good thing. [How can people really tell in an instant how "fit" someone is based on ten seconds of walking around on stage in a bikini and heels? Anyone can get on medication to make her body loose tons of weight and she can do all kinds of plastic surgery to make her body look good. Give me a treadmill and I'll show you the amount of hours I've put in to be able to run a marathon.]

Keeping going forward to a few months ago. I continued struggling with my self image off and on, but I finally reached a point of loving my body. However, I was not fully comfortable with myself - not confident in my opinions or views, always looking to see who has better style, etc. Getting to mentor girls about having positive self image has greatly helped me with my own. But there was still something inside of me that hasn't been right. January 20014... I had someone enter my life who challenged me to really take the time to figure out why I wanted to be Miss Georgia and Miss America, and further, challenged me to figure out who Shelby is. I have an amazing support system - my mom, my dad, my sisters, my brothers, my relatives, my dear man, my boards, my friends... I really am so blessed. But I think God uses specific people to say one thing that thousands of others have been saying for it to really stick. And that's what happened with this person. He told one of my directors that after ourfirst coaching session he thought I really didn't want to be Miss Georgia. My initial thought was, whaaaaattttt???! Of course I do!!!! But then it hit me; he doesn't think I do, because I genuinely don't know why I truly, deep down inside want this. I want it, but I feel like I am not worth it. I want this, but because I am still trying to figure out who I am, I am not able to convey it.

You see, for as long as I have competed in pageants, {which has only been since 2009 (minus the two times I competed as a teen in high school)}, I have never felt like I genuinely was good enough or worth being Miss Georgia or Miss America. I thought all the other girls had more than I did; they were prettier, they had stronger talents, their interviews were better. What lies! I think finally figuring out years ago that I actually was good enough may have saved me a lot of time and money :P But, that is the beauty of God taking us out of ashes and turning our story into something truly magnificent. The path that He has taken me on has been hard. It's been a personal struggle every single day I have woken up. I am grateful for the person who told me and that it finally clicked, only a few months ago, that yes - I was worth it, and yes, I am worth it. It's my dream to be Miss Georgia. I think God has definitely given me this dream. This year is my last shot at trying to achieve that dream. And what if I don't achieve it? What then; will I be a failure? Thanks to God finally helping me I am worth it, not in the least bit.

Miss Georgia forum was this past weekend. It's where all of the title holders and their parents and boards get together for two full days of sessions and meetings. Its where you are sized up and the comparing of the girls begins... who is going to be the next Miss Georgia, who will be in the top 10/5, who has the best talent, who looks like they are ready, etc. In the large scheme of things, it's a bit ridiculous. The past two years this has brought intense pressure, having to look and act your complete best. This year, however, was a totally different story. I told God I wanted to walk in acting like the real Shelby and looking like the real Shelby. There was to be no gimmicks or fake-ness. What you saw was what you got. And, thanks to finally realizing who Shelby is and being comfortable with the real Shelby, that is exactly what happened. Technically, I am a grandma in the pageant world... so I took this time to meet the new girls and love on the ones who I already knew. I made sure to have fun while being comfortable to be me. It was an exhausting weekend, but in a good way; it was an amazing weekend. And ending it off with a comment from a girl I have been competing with since the beginning definitely topped it off: "Shelby... you look like Shelby." And that is what I wanted. I wanted to jump up and down right after she said that, but my heart was doing so for me. I wanted to run to God and yell, "Mission Accomplished!"

I am grateful for the Miss America Organization. It's helped me know more about myself (especially in the last few months) than I ever thought could be possible in a lifetime. I know I'm not perfect, but being imperfect is what makes me beautiful. I'm learning that it's what people want to know about. You never know what connections you'll make until you open up and allow others to see you, the real you. You'll never know what kind of impact you can make on others until you believe in the worth that you have.

It is my desire as Shelby, as Miss Atlanta, as a nursing student, as a big sister, or as anything else God is calling me to be, that I will be a positive image and role model for females (young or old). I want to help girls realize that they matter, that they are amazing, and their uniqueness is their beauty.

You too... take opportunities to find out what you love, what your weaknesses are, what your talents are, and what your favorite things are. You'll be surprised at how many things you may find out about yourself :) Be willing to laugh at yourself. Write down every success you feel you had... and then some. Open up to others. Look at those imperfections and realize that you. are. worth. it.

Xoxo, Shelby.

A year and a half later....

I'm back. Trying to balance too many blogs {each one having different reasons of existence}, on top of my social media, has left this poor blog unattended. But after spending the last few days cutting back on the number of accounts and blogs I have, I think I have managed being able to combine them into a total of two. Which lead me to renaming and refocusing this one.

It took some time trying to decide what the main theme of this blog should be {I am quite a visual person... you should see all my brainstorming scratch papers}. There were so many ideas coming to me and plenty of thoughts but nothing seemed to fit for what I wanted the main purpose to be. Driving around the city today it suddenly hit me: balance and simplicity. Ah. Light bulb. The two can go hand in hand. In this situation they do.

I feel as if my life is crazy. Well, actually it is. I am always trying to find the perfect balance; how to balance work, school, and relationships; how to balance giving my time to one project while giving it to five other; balancing family relationships and strengthening my {long distance} relationship with my dear man; making time to eat healthy, while being on the go all the time, while sticking to a good running and training schedule, while making appearances to schools and events, while managing all the above; the list goes on. But along with balancing life I am learning how to be simple and simplify my life; enough multiple blogs and social media  outlets {who am I kidding thinking I can run five blogs, two twitters, an instagram, a facebook profile, and two facebook pages on top of everything else I have?!}; enough going through my blessed closet and thinking I have "nothing to wear"; enough of this running around and being out of breath all the time; enough not seeing the beauty in the simplest of things; enough seeking how I can have more, more, more.

Through blogging of my adventures in the balance acts of life and the simplifying of materialistic thoughts, I hope to find that balance of placing God at the center of my life and to learn to seek less, not more, and finding my all in Him alone.

Here goes nothing.
Xoxo, Shelby.

Psalm 46:10 - "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

God's timing!

Oh.....oh......is it real?!? if I touch it will it disappear?? After almost three years of hard work, persistence has paid off: I have won a preliminary title and am going to the state stage!! Guys, my heart is very full right now. It is so humbling to have the title of Miss H.C. and a crown to go with it. I am, right now more than ever, a huge believer and advocate that you can have whatever you work hard for and put your mind to get. God is so good. So good. His timing is always perfect and over the past few weeks has pounded in my heart how HE was in control; how HIS will is already done; how HE has the perfect board for me to work with; in HIS timing.

My platform, Girl Talk: instilling confidence and integrity into HS and MS girls through mentoring, is very near and dear to my heart. I am a living testimony that mentoring works. Having gone from very little self esteem, and even going through a mild eating disorder because of that,  to becoming a woman of confidence, worth, and belief in my self, I can say that every girl out there has a purpose and plan for their life. Don't ever doubt it. Even when the going gets tough, DONT GIVE UP!!! My heart is leaping for joy and abounding in love for all the girls that I will now be able to reach through my title. Of course, it does not take a title to make a difference but it sure does help ;-)

I am so overwhelmed by the amount of support I have had. There is an enormous amount of people that have believed in me from the start. It is just incredible to know so many people have faith in me. And not necessarily me, but the gifts God has given me. They see Christ in me; THAT is the one goal I asked God to help me achieve... not to "get a crown" but to shine for Christ and to be a positive role model to everyone I come in contact with. Having a crown on my head and a title in my hand does not give me permission to get cocky, stuck up, or think I own the place. It gives me permission to be an even bigger example of what a role model is and to reach a far greater area. At the end of the day, I take the makeup off...I put my hair in a ponytail....I throw on norts and a t-shirt....I take off the crown and the sash....I become an normal girl. The question I ask myself then is "how are you a role model and example of Christ when its all said and done?"

I have a TON of work to do before I get to the state stage, but I have been very, very, very blessed with an amazing board who will help me prepare at my absolute best. God will provide all that I need and will give me strength to do whatever I need to. He has huge plans for my life, as I have already seen unfold. I am extremely motivated and excited about the next months ahead!!

A standing ovation for talent almost made me faint. So grateful God has given me a talent of tickling those ivories ;) Looking forward to the next few months preparing for the Miss Georgia stage and working with an INCREDIBLE board, as well as my new sister queen and our sweet teen!! To have the three people in the world that have pushed me and believe in me the most there to watch me own the night, my daddy, mommy, and first pageant coach, made the whole thing unbelievably perfect. My words of gratitude are not enough for all people have done for me. To each person that has had faith in me....my original pageant coach, my parents and family, my little sisters who knew I wanted a title so bad, judges from day #1, judges from #4368346, directors and boards who offered little bits of advice along the way, friends I have met through pageants, everyone....Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!! ♥ 

 

Sunsets

Sunsets excite me. I see them as being kisses from God. Little things make me happy, but few things make me really happy. Sunsets make me really happy. Enjoy the pictures I've taken over the past few year from sunsets I've seen (including my heading which is a picture I also took).

October 2010

  

November 2010

 

June 2011

 

July 2011

 

September 2011

Busy

I am so addicted to Pinterest. It fuels my OCD and organizational needs very well.
Wine is my new favorite thing, aside from avocados and sushi.

Here is my random post for the quickly ending summer, since I have neglected to post anything since the end of May. I didn't make an outline for this post, nor do I really know what I'm about to ramble about. Be prepared. I am warning you beforehand so you can brace yourself for some strange English coming....:

Life is too crazy. During the past few months my life has been constantly in a number of different transitions. I am honestly exhausted. I like being busy, always keeping my mind active doing something; I feel its not busyness that is making me tired but rather the changes occurring. Maybe I am just exhausted from all the late nights I stay up playing word search. Or maybe its that my body is still adjusting to getting back into a good running routine. Or maybe it is all the stressing I do about life and silly, piddly little things. I don't know, but I need to. I like having a sense of control over situations, knowing what their outcome will be. All these changes and no-changes have made me very nervous of the future. Doors keep closing to opportunities, plans that have been made are suddenly changed, people I thought were supposed to be in my life for a long time are leaving. What the heck is going on? I know God has it in control though, so I need to just chill out.... wait....maybe that is just it: I don't really trust Him. Ah. He may have just gotten me thinking. I have become so consumed with ME and with what I want that I have pushed him out of the picture. Consume, take, want, crave, self, me. These words all go together. I'm so worried about what I want that I have lost sight of what is really important. Things like my family, my relationship with M, my relationship with Christ. I mean, really, I have pushed them away from the top and put myself above all. Its less about my family and their needs; less about serving others, which is sad for a future nurse; less about seeking out Christ and his plan for me; and I really feel like its getting less and less about my gentleman. I think it is time to get things back in order, starting with putting Christ at the top. Le sigh. Bisous, SLR

Goodbye for now, my friend.

The world was a happier place with you in it.

Always making people laugh. Always putting a smile on someone’s face. 

You were greatly loved, and are greatly missed, JB.

Do not keep the alabaster box of your friendship sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their lives with sweetness. Speak approving, cheering words while their ears can hear them, and while their hearts can be thrilled and made happier. The kind of things you mean to say when they are gone, say before they go. 

— George W. Childs

Jonathan’s death has had a HUGE impact on my life. So many lessons have been taught through this traumatic event. The words above have a new meaning. Read them and take them to heart. Don’t take anything, or anyone, for granted. Love is a verb. Put that verb into action.  - SLR

Miss America 2011

Miss America 2011... wow. My adrenaline was going out the roof last night. In case those of you that follow me do not know, I am very involved with pageants, specifically the Miss America Organization. I completely adore the organization and what it does for women/America, as well as how it has made incredible differences in my life.

I am in love with the newly crowned Miss America, Teresa Scanlan. Watching her last night, I didn't have her picked out as the winner. Sure, she had an awesome talent (she won talent preliminary earlier in the week - go pianist!), her SS was good, OSQ was outstanding, EG was great, and she was gorgeous. Compared to the other top 5 competitors, however, I had her as 3rd runner up (course, what do I know?!). Yet after reading her blog this afternoon I found out why she was clearly the next Miss America... She has a heart of gold. And the judges did see this.

The interview portion of pageants is the hardest. This is where you make it or you break it. While in the MAO, talent scores higher than interview, the interview is where you make your impression on the judges. If they don't like you in there, you can pretty much guess that they will not look at you very much the rest of the night. Only the judges and the contest know what goes on in the interview. You, as a contestant, want to try your best to share your passion and platform during interview. You want to show the judges why you should be the next Miss so-and-so, leading up to being the next Miss America. You want to let them know why and how you are different than the rest of the girls, and why you would be the best at the job you are interviewing for (keep in mind that Miss America, Miss state, Miss local are all first and foremost a JOB). After ending the night with a crown on her head, sash on her chest, and the title of Miss America 2011 now next to her name, Teresa showed the judges that she was indeed different than the other 52 contestants, and she did have what it take to become the next MA.

After reading her blog, as I said above, I am in love with this young lady. Teresa Scanlan is loving life. She has integrity, passion, and passion. Her platform is incredible; being in the pageant world myself, I know it is an issue that needs to be addressed. She is a wonderful example of what a role model really is. She is an amazing definition of what the MAO is all about.

Anyways, with all that being said, my best wishes, prayers, and blessings are with Teresa. I am excited for her year as MA2011. I am excited about the many lives she will be impacting for the good. She has some amazingggg opportunities and experiences ahead of her :-) Check her blog out.... it is certainly worth looking at! http://teresastravelsandtidbits.blogspot.com

xoxo, SLR

Thanksgiving

 This Thanksgiving was quite different and very interesting from any other Thanksgiving I've had in my life. First off, I wore shorts for the first Thanksgiving yet. As silly as that sounds it actually was upsetting. Judge me for being cheesy or whatever you'd like, but wearing cold weather clothes (at least long sleeves, long pants, boots, and a scarf) for Thanksgiving is important to me. Its like a mark of the season or something. Unfortunately the southern United States seems to be wanting to bask in warm weather. I honestly hope this changes before December rolls around.

  Secondly, my family and I celebrated the holiday at some of our friends' house instead of our own. This can be accredited to our glass cooktop being shattered and our oven fan going out. It would only happen to us right before Thanksgiving. Actually the cooktop has been out since April, but that is another story for another time. It is what comes with living in a family of 12...haha. While it was highly enjoyable not having to do so many dishes or cleaning (lol) and spending time with them I still slightly missed my home.

 Thirdly, my two older sisters, both of whom are married, were unable to be here this year. One lives in OK and is not visiting until Christmas, the other was at the hospital with her husband who was diagnosed with Susac Syndrome recently. I know people get older, move out, get married, and the like, but sometimes it is hard to accept change.

 So you see, it was not "normal" as I would have liked it to be. In spite of all of the above, however, it was an amazing Thanksgiving. I think more than anything else all the "abnormality" of this Thanksgiving helped me to see things in a different perspective and gave me more appreciation of things we all, me especially, take advantage of. Change really is alright. I am SLOWLY, and I do mean slowly, coming to realize this. The change that has taken place so far this past year has been really good in the long run. Sure there are many days, such as today, and events that happen where the good that is coming out of the change can only seen once you step back. Yet even when you have to step back it almost takes your breath away to see what intense and beautiful work is going on... and that it is all for the better. I would have never guessed that the year would have turned out like it has so far; I would have never expected to be where I am at, doing what I am doing, or be who I am. I have so many plans and goals for my life... when I step back occasionally to look at them I can see that they have been changed so many times; but that's great. If I would have wished for the same things or longed to do the same things I would be such a different person. And really, that would not be a good thing. Now do not get me wrong, there are several things God has directed me to do in life and to accomplish. I will strive my hardest to put everything in what He has called me to do. At the same time I shall do my best to keep in mind that change is okay... not just change that I am willing to accept, but all change. I look forward to the future with much anticipation for the glorious, wonderful things in store.

 In light of the holiday spirit and the different perspective I had the chance of gaining today let me list a few things I am incredibly and deeply grateful for. While some are obvious they are all very important to me:

* God and Jesus Christ

* My parents

* My siblings

* My best friends Jessi, Woody, Megan, Emily, Jonathan, Lindy, Megan, Hayley, Joe

* My health

* The ability to run  - as far and as long as I wish

* My bosses

* My job 

* My circumstance, house, school

* My opportunities

* My everything

* The Miss America Organization

xoxo, SLR

Two of my bestest friends and I... so excited they have won preliminary titles and will be going to state!!

-- kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com --

[http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/] 

Do visit this site. It is touching.

"That if we really love Him with all our hearts and all our strength, NOTHING will feel like sacrifice in light of the promise that one day we will get to be with Him forever. Automatically, we will help those in need, we will give our all, we will love our neighbor as our self, because our heart is aligned with His. But so many don’t. This then begs the question: If we are not walking in the words of Jesus, do we truly know Him? Do we really know and believe in the Jesus of the Bible. Because if we do, if we believe what He says is true, our lives will be powerfully, unimaginable, radically different than the lives of those around us. He requires EVERYTHING."

Simplicité

Here we are in the middle of the college semester for young people my age and I am currently sitting on my bedroom floor, robe & running attire on, books all around me, pageant interview material sprawled out all over the floor, and computer running full speed. This is quite a sad sight. Yes, I am being some-what prolific and getting small things taken care of. However, this is far from the busy life I wish I had right now. I love staying busy and keeping my mind and body active with many activities. A small break is refreshing, but being back in school would be wonderful. I find myself constantly worrying about what I can do next, or what needs to be done that week, or how I can be prepared for this or that. Being prepared, active, ready, and busy is important, but I find myself obsessing over it far too much. Yet this morning I was reminded of a something that turned my "ungratefulness" of this break into more of a sense of amenity. While it is very uncomplicated to understand, one needs to STOP, backup, and sit down to full take it in, or better yet, to even see it; Simplicity.

See? Not complicated in the least bit. Ha, or is it? I am committing to live these next 3 months of my break to living more simple, more appreciative of God's mercy and grace, and becoming more aware of how blessed I truly am in more than one way. Sure, this is quite simple enough... but that is just it; its simple. People do not know how to be simple anymore. Its all about the go, go, go and less about the extraordinary, created life and wonders all around the normal life. So try it - be simple for a day. Stop running around, being pulled in all directions, being prepared for every LITTLE thing, and just sit down. Relax for a bit. Take a sporadic adventure into the woods to enjoy some solitude solo time between you and God. Leave the phone/computer/iphone/blackberry/tv/ipad/any technology alone! And while I understand, in the world we live in this has gotten rather hard to do it can still be done for a short time.

Side-note: Si je pouvais, je laisse tout tomber et je faisais du stop avion pour l'Europe et de passer une année là-bas avec peu à faire. Bien sûr, ce n'est pas la réalité et est beaucoup plus facile à dire qu'à faire. J'aimerais bien

101 small pleasures you can enjoy every day

Yes, so I "stole" this list off Yahoo's front page... however, it was way too good to not share. I agree with just about every single thing on this list. These are some things that put smiles on my face. God is number one on the list though... He never fails to put a smile on my face. 

1. coloring (yes, grown-ups can do it, too)
2. crisp cotton sheets
3. soft skin
4. old family recipes
5. the first daffodils of spring
6. sleeping in
7. an exercise endorphin high
8. window boxes
9. a perfect cup of coffee
10. a genuine compliment (giving or receiving)
11. the way babies smell
12. a handwritten letter
13. waking up in a good mood...for no real reason
14. singing in the shower
15. finding a couple forgotten dollars in your pocket
16. doing something nice for your neighbor
17. a home cooked meal
18. laughing
19. movie theater popcorn
20. playing hookey
21. a bubble bath
22. swimming
23. an afternoon nap
24. street musicians
25. your favorite song
26. saying thank you
27. helping someone in need
28. old fashioned photo booths
29. fresh whipped cream
30. inspiring blogs
31. a glass of wine
32. rainy afternoons
33. the funny things kids say
34. a novel you can get lost in
35. finding the perfect piece of clothing...on sale
36. clean laundry
37. the wind in your hair
38. treating the person behind you at the drive-thru
39. sharing an umbrella
40. the smell of lavender
41. a long walk that clears your head
42. a bear hug
43. The Beatles
44. smiling at a stranger
45. eating with chopsticks (Chinese food optional)
46. butterflies
47. staying in your pj's all day
48. singing along to the radio and knowing all the words
49. fresh herbs
50. ordering in pizza
51. happy endings...even if they're fictional
52. flying a kite
53. puppies
54. root beer floats
55. holding open the door...
56. ...or having someone hold the door for you
57. fountain soda
58. white, fluffy towels
59. sunshine
60. spending an afternoon at a museum
61. really great advice
62. green lights all the way home
63. the sound of rain hitting the windows
64. sitting in a booth
65. holding hands
66. a great hair day with no effort
67. building a fort with your kids
68. when someone falls asleep with their head on your shoulder
69. fireflies
70. the perfect taco
71. geraniums on a windowsill
72. slow dancing
73. the smell of fresh-baked bread
74. cheesy, uplifting musicals
75. great stories
76. the smell of gasoline
77. the cold side of the pillow
78. love letters
79. old friends...
80. ...new friends
81. a pull-through parking space
82. a baguette -- crisp on the outside, airy on the inside
83. when a dog licks your hand
84. sitting at the counter at an old-fashioned diner
85. using your favorite dishes
86. reading your child a bedtime story
87. Girl Scout Cookies
88. flossing
89. kissing someone you love
90. the smell of onions and garlic cooking
91. hot chocolate
92. jumping in puddles
93. old photographs
94. birds hopping on the sidewalk
95. Ella Fitzgerald
96. a spoonful of peanut butter straight from the jar
97. your softest t-shirt
98. a new magazine in the mail
99. fireplaces
100. having exact change
101. bacon and pancakes cooking on Saturday morning

A true example of happiness and joy

This past Tuesday, my mom and I drove to the hospital where my brother in law is in rehab. The main reason for the visit was not only to see him, but to let him see his little boy, Gabriel. Jeremiah (my brother in law) has not see Gabe since first being in the hospital, which was November 10th. While he knew family was coming, Jeremiah did not however, know his little boy was coming; it was quite a surprise for him the minute he saw his "little present" (as he called it)! If there was a true definition or example of happiness, joy, ecstasy, and delight combined, it was written all over Jeremiah's face. That had to be one of the most amazing experiences for me to encounter. It was also one of the biggest blessings of my life to see how happy he was. Of course, saying he was happy is only saying the very least. Needless to say, it was an incredible visit. Praise God Jeremiah is doing very well! He finally comes home on Thursday!!!! We cannot praise God enough for all that He has done. My sister is an amazing woman and I would pray I can show the same love, support, and strength if I was ever faced with such a huge responsibility. 

 

Current Adventures ....

     My brother in law is currently in the hospital with ADEM; a case that comes on rapidly, shuts a person's body down, then leaves them to recover ... my sister is there with him. My nephew, their 1 1/2 year old son, is here at my home. My brother in law continues needing a lot of prayer, however he has been greatly blessed so far with many prayers, words, love, and so much more. Praise God!

Randomness

I'm going to try to play, and memorize, the entire Pathetique Sonata. I've got the first movement down (gah, 10 mins long :-P), now for the 2nd and 3rd. I don't think they will be as hard as the first movement. My computer's hard drive crashed last week. Talk about a pain. There went all my pictures and photography that I was going to put in a portfolio for that photographer (the one I was trying to intern with...). It's okay cause now I can get a Mac :-D :-D Ooooooh Yesssss. Lego's are awesome. You should go buy a set and start playing with them... haha. They bring back so many child memories. I started thinking again about going into nursing. Then I had people tell me I should and I'd be good at it.... I'd love to become a nurse and be on the mission field as a nurse. But I guess it's whatever God has in store for me.

Okay, that's my rambling for the night. Lastly, here's my schedule for the week (which will probably change....):
Monday (today) - Babysit some awesome kids
Tuesday - Piano lessons, babysit, chill out at the pool, run
Wednesday - gym, and who knows...prob catch up on late bday gifts
Thursday - run, work
Friday - gym, study again for the last time
Saturday - TEST
Sunday - Church, wedding!! =D

"....If grace is an ocean ,we're all sinking..."

His will, not mine...

It seems over the last few weeks as if my plans continue to disintegrate and crash, leaving me with the unknown of "what am I going to do?". I have had several opportunities open up, but it seems as if every time I start working towards starting the given opportunity something happens and it doesn't work out for me. Am I whining? probably. But it has just gotten my very frustrated and confused. I mean, for pete's sake, I cried at least 4 times last week... It's so rare for me to cry (unless I am on my period, lol - which I was not). It's driving me crazy... mostly because I don't like not-knowing what direction I am headed in (well I do enjoy some surprises too here and there ;-)), and because I am tired of always stopping and starting over again. So what opportunities have crashed? Here are some to list....

* Europe. - Had a chance to go for 5-6 weeks, not anymore :-( I LOVE traveling, and this would have been an amazing trip to do some more sight seeing, see old friends, and learn more french, ya-da ya-da...
* Being an intern for a photographer - GRRR. I really want to pursue photography. I love it. I love capturing God's amazing creation, people's emotions, ect. I had a chance to work with a wonderful and fabulous photographer who is local ....
* Working at a local church as a music assistant/music secretary as a part time job, M-Thur ....
* Probably i360 will not be working out too...

Okay, you get the picture .... there has been different things come up but stuff is not working out. I have been SOOO bummed and upset about it all. BUT ......

I was reminded today from a dear friend that it's not MY will but HIS (God's) will that needs to be done. So then it struck me - is God clearing the way for me to do something for HIM instead of searching out my own desires? Is God preparing the way for something huge that I might not have been able to do if I was involved in any of the above or any other thing I didnt mention?? And right now I am believeing the answer is yes. I think He is. I have been so caught up in ME, and what am I supposed to be doing, instead of seeking out what does GOD want me to be pursuing so I may bring glory to Him, or so I may be I lighthouse for His name? AND... In church we sang a hymn which again reminded me of HIS will not mine. And while I have heard this hymn who knows how many times (and it is also one of my favorites), it struck home yesterday....

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

There is also a verse that goes along with that:

Lamentations 3:21-23 ~ But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Rest of the 2008 year pictures...

SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER

DECEMBER


JANUARY