Busy

I am so addicted to Pinterest. It fuels my OCD and organizational needs very well.
Wine is my new favorite thing, aside from avocados and sushi.

Here is my random post for the quickly ending summer, since I have neglected to post anything since the end of May. I didn't make an outline for this post, nor do I really know what I'm about to ramble about. Be prepared. I am warning you beforehand so you can brace yourself for some strange English coming....:

Life is too crazy. During the past few months my life has been constantly in a number of different transitions. I am honestly exhausted. I like being busy, always keeping my mind active doing something; I feel its not busyness that is making me tired but rather the changes occurring. Maybe I am just exhausted from all the late nights I stay up playing word search. Or maybe its that my body is still adjusting to getting back into a good running routine. Or maybe it is all the stressing I do about life and silly, piddly little things. I don't know, but I need to. I like having a sense of control over situations, knowing what their outcome will be. All these changes and no-changes have made me very nervous of the future. Doors keep closing to opportunities, plans that have been made are suddenly changed, people I thought were supposed to be in my life for a long time are leaving. What the heck is going on? I know God has it in control though, so I need to just chill out.... wait....maybe that is just it: I don't really trust Him. Ah. He may have just gotten me thinking. I have become so consumed with ME and with what I want that I have pushed him out of the picture. Consume, take, want, crave, self, me. These words all go together. I'm so worried about what I want that I have lost sight of what is really important. Things like my family, my relationship with M, my relationship with Christ. I mean, really, I have pushed them away from the top and put myself above all. Its less about my family and their needs; less about serving others, which is sad for a future nurse; less about seeking out Christ and his plan for me; and I really feel like its getting less and less about my gentleman. I think it is time to get things back in order, starting with putting Christ at the top. Le sigh. Bisous, SLR